We never planned nor expected to have twins, but we feel exceptionally fortunate to have the best of both worlds: a boy and a girl. It was a great hand of luck, which, minus the infertility part, has been our story from the beginning of this journey.

We knew we wanted kiddos, but like many couples wanting kids nowadays, we thought we had a good reason to postpone starting a family. Our plans were to travel the world, come back home and then grow kids. We sold everything we owned, bought two motorcycles and traveled across 30 countries over the span of three years before returning to San Francisco. Only later did we discover that infertility would be our issue.

We tried to conceive on our own for a year without luck. When we decided to get preliminary blood work to help solve our mystery, each test came back normal. Our prognosis wasn’t good: unexplained infertility.

I spent the next three weeks researching our fertility options online—looking at doctors and clinics, and comparing their success rates and patient reviews. During my research process, I learned how quickly the chances of having a family were dwindling for a couple of our age. A 40 year old healthy woman has around a 25% chance of a live birth through IVF. While a woman over 42 years of age, has a 5% or less chance of conceiving. I was almost 41 years old.

I felt very good about Pacific Fertility Center as all five of the doctors were researchers in the field of fertility with exceptional resumes. Furthermore, as practitioners, they seemed more experienced than most, in working with women past age 40. I chose the first doctor I spoke with, Doctor Ryan, based on her online profile. She was straightforward, and took the time to explain our treatment to us both verbally and visually (drawing out diagrams). She has a rare ability to conduct a professional yet personal relationship. She is genuinely warm, personable, and interested in her patients. Pierre and I knew after one meeting that we wanted to work with her.

The injections and the medications became a kind of ritual for us. The experience brought Pierre and I closer. Of the seven eggs collected, four developed into embryos. On the third day, all four were transferred and we started to wait, hopeful it would “work”. Six weeks later, late in the evening, I began to bleed and was sure I had miscarried. For the first time I realized what it meant to me to have a child. I wouldn’t let myself believe I had miscarried, but I also recognized the emotional tail-spin I’d go into if I had in fact lost the pregnancy. We both must have had the saddest night of our lives. Early the next morning, I went in for an emergency appointment. The image came up on the ultrasound screen and, within seconds, the doctor turned to me and exclaimed: “You have twins!” Pierre and I looked at each other elated. Twins! It was the best fortune imaginable.

Max and Emmanuelle are now 9 months old. We barely remember life before them. They are healthy, incredibly good-natured babies. Pacific Fertility Center was the best choice for us, but not entirely based on our (and Dr Ryan’s!) success. We knew it was a one-shot deal and the result, a girl and a boy, could not have been better.

For parents thinking about using IVF, I would recommend setting a limit in the number of attempts before you begin treatment. Knowing we were with the best doctors allowed us to approach the procedure in a more relaxed way. Knowing our odds, however, we did feel like this was our last hope. Now we find it more amusing and gratifying to find ourselves looking for our own characteristics in our kids. We see Max and Emmanuelle as little individuals who have been placed into our care, two beautiful and unique little people whose personas are going to blossom in front of our eyes.

We are incredibly grateful to Dr. Ryan and the team at PFC for allowing us to know the joy of giving birth. However, we are most grateful to be parents. Above all else, it is this unconditional love that lasts 18 years and beyond, that really defines parenthood. Even if your fertility issue doesn’t permit the use of your own genes, know that you still will be a very loving, loved and fulfilled parent.

–Submitted by Merritt Grooms

Tags: IVF - In Vitro Fertilization, PFC Doctors & Specialists

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 10th, 2009 at 10:51 am and is filed under Patient Odyssey. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.