Coping With Infertility on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day
Thursday, May 6th, 2010
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Peggy Orlin, M.S., M.F.T. is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has been counseling couples and individuals at PFC for over 10 years. More about P. Orlin · Read Other Posts |
Spring, a time for celebrating Mothers and Fathers, can be a particularly difficult time for infertility patients. Because dealing with these two holidays can be a challenge, I have some suggestions for ways to develop some good coping skills. To cope is to “develop the ability to manage in a difficult situation.”
Here are a few suggestions:
- Give up any and all feelings of guilt for how you are feeling! There is no right or wrong way to experience Mother or Father’s Day.
- Know your limits and stick with them. If attending a family gathering is too painful, then don’t. You can still write a caring letter to your parent letting them know how you feel about them. If you do feel comfortable attending a family gathering, then do.
- Plan to do something that is unrelated to parenting.
- Attend religious services if you are comfortable knowing that the focus may be on mother’s or fathers. Perhaps you can ask your religious leader to say a prayer for those who have not yet achieved parenthood or are dealing with some other sort of crisis.
- Plan for how you will answer uninvited questions about how you are feeling. Remember, you are not required to tell them your entire “story!”
- Communicate with your partner to let him/her know of your feelings. Even if you and your partner are feeling differently about Mother’s or Father’s Day, it may help to share. If you are single, call a friend with whom you feel safe to share your feelings.
- If you think it might be helpful, please call the clinic and set up an appointment with me, at no charge. Our number is 415-834-3000.
– Peggy Orlin, MS, MFT
