As a lesbian couple, we were aware that getting pregnant might be a challenge and might require medical intervention, but decided to try at home anyway.  Since Jean is older it made sense for her to carry first.  In 2002, we began the process of trying to conceive with our known donor.  We had a few challenges to overcome. Our donor was from out of state and we had to use a shipping kit designed by University of Chicago Andrology Lab to maintain the viability of the sperm.  We hired a midwife to come to our home, clean the semen sample and do the insemination.  In 2004, after two years of trying and many dollars spent, it became apparent that we were not going to be successful on our own.

We spoke to our OB/GYN who recommended that we work with a fertility specialist.  On a recommendation from a Pacific Fertility Center staff counselor, Peggy Orlin, we contacted Dr. Eldon Schriock at PFC.  Though the initial paperwork and set up seemed daunting, we were able to complete the required items quickly and were ready to start fertility treatment with Dr. Schriock in March 2005.  Jean was set to do the “Clomid challenge” test on our first attempt.  With new FDA regulations looming in May 2005, we felt we had limited time to get Jean pregnant with our current donor so the pressure was on.  Although the PFC staff was not initially familiar with our shipping kit, they were more than willing to work with it and help us with the logistics.  Jean had a fortunate experience with Clomid and on April 15, 2005 with 3 good follicles we completed our first IUI with PFC.  Two weeks and 3 positive pregnancy tests later, we confirmed that we were in fact going to have a baby.  It was hard to believe that after so many years and tries it was actually happening.  Now 3 years later we have a beautiful and fun two year old girl named Logan.

When Logan was 5 months old, there was an accident in my family that gave us pause.  We realized life is short and you never know what is in store for you around the next corner .We decided to begin the process of trying to get Marni pregnant. In May 2006 we made the decision that we would begin the process at home, but needless to say, we were unsuccessful. After 6 months we would again meet with Dr. Schriock and his fabulous team of nurses and doctors.    Because of our history with PFC, we were able to quickly begin the process and get started trying to achieve pregnancy at PFC.

With the new FDA regulations now in place we had a host of new hoops to jump through. Once we cleared the list of hurdles, we began our attempt to get Marni pregnant.  After many different fertility treatments (Clomid, Letrazole, and Follistim), three different PFC doctors (Dr. Schriock, Dr. Ryan and Dr. Givens) all suggested that if we were committed to our donor then we should seriously think about IVF as an option because of the quality of his frozen/thawed sperm.  In October 2007 we began the IVF process.  Though there was a lot to manage and keep track of (when to give shots, appointments, blood tests, etc.) we never felt alone.  The PFC doctors, nurses and staff were always available for a phone conference to answer any questions or concerns.  In late November 2007 we completed IVF – the egg retrieval and embryo transfer process.  Four embryos were implanted out of the seven that fertilized.  In December 2007, two weeks later, we received the positive blood test result and were ecstatic.  Unfortunately, within days of the positive pregnancy result it became clear that this was not going to be a viable pregnancy.  Marni had apparently been pregnant with twins. She miscarried the first embryo and had to undergo not only the abortion pill, but a subsequent D&C to remove the second gestational sac.  Dr. Schriock and all of the staff, nurses and other doctors were available for emotional support and medical guidance throughout the process.

We completed our second egg retrieval and awaited the fertilization results.  Our hopes were high but we were realistic and knew that anything could happen. As it turned out, Marni’s second round of IVF was unsuccessful. Though the quality of embryos was better than in the first cycle, she did not get pregnant.  We had a few conversations with Dr. Schriock and determined that if she were to continue trying to get pregnant, it would take an ovum donor and a lot of money.  We decided to have Jean try again, because we wanted to be pragmatic and realistic and keep the goal of adding to our family in mind.  Jean is currently under Dr. Schriock’s care and last week she completed a course of Clomid and an IUI.  We are now in the waiting period and are hopeful for a positive result.

Our experience with PFC, Dr. Schriock and all the other staff has been great.  We had a few bumps along the way but the doctors, nurses, office manager and staff responded quickly and effectively.  We always felt at ease to express concerns and ask questions.  Everyone we encountered at PFC has a good understanding of how emotional this process can be and has always been empathetic in their dealings with us.  We never felt uncomfortable as a lesbian couple.  We would absolutely recommend PFC for their cutting edge technology, knowledge and exceptional care during this highly emotional event.

Best Regards,
Marni & Jean

My husband and I have a long history together. We met in high school, and after 10 years of marriage, we were ready to have a family. My sister had experienced trouble getting pregnant, so as a result I worried that I might have the same problem.

My worries were partially confirmed when my husband and I unsuccessfully tried to conceive. In our case, we discovered we had the unlucky combination of both male and female factor infertility. At that point we were under the care of our gynecologist. On our doctors’ recommendation, we went through IUI near the end of 2003. It was a nightmare for a lot of reasons. I reacted poorly to Clomid and did not conceive.

While I was still trying to conceive, my sister was happily on her way to having a family. She had gone to the next level of care: an expert reproductive endocrinologist at Pacific Fertility Center. We were of course delighted to hear the news of her pregnancy, but at the same time frustrated because we were still not pregnant. We had always thought that once we were ready to have a family, we would be able to get pregnant easily and naturally.

After our disastrous IUI cycle, we tried again naturally, but to no avail. Frustrated and tired, we took a break. After a while, I spoke with my sister Alison, who referred us to Dr. Herbert at Pacific Fertility Center. He was wonderful and had great bedside manner. He was positive and upbeat despite our combined infertility diagnosis. We went straight to IVF with Gonal F and Repronex. Unfortunately, my body didn’t respond well.

I really appreciated Dr. Herbert during this discouraging time. He was frank with us and indicated that my follicles were not looking good. Without good follicles, the ability to retrieve a reasonable number of quality eggs was in question, so we did not continue our IVF cycle. Dr. Herbert was very flexible; he listened, explained our options and didn’t dictate what we should do. He suggested IUI as a way to salvage the IVF cycle and much to our surprise, we became pregnant! When I got the good news that my husband and I were going to be parents for the first time, I was “over-the-top” happy calling everybody I knew. In addition, on our first ultrasound, we saw two beating hearts. We not only were pregnant, but also were pregnant with twins!

The irony is that after my sister Alison had twins, I too envisioned having twins. During our initial OB ultrasound, Dr. Herbert indicated that he saw two heartbeats. We had a scare at one point as we thought I had experienced a miscarriage. However, I had just had some bleeding and passed a blood clot. I appreciated Dr. Herbert during this time, as he remained calm at all times. Much to our delight, I gave birth to a healthy, beautiful set of twins (Justin and Eva) who are now over a year old.

I thoroughly enjoyed my experience at PFC. They were great from a logistical standpoint, and were great about getting all of the paperwork out of the way quickly. I appreciate the nurses—Anne was awesome and whenever we called she was very kind and understanding. I loved going to appointments as it was such as positive experience. Additionally, I appreciate PFC for their professionalism. Dr. Herbert was so experienced and knew what he was doing the whole time; I trusted him a lot. I truly love our children. It is wonderful for my sister and me to be able share experiences as we learn about the joys of parenthood firsthand. It is sweet irony indeed.

Leslie

Leslie’s journey to a successful pregnancy was a bit unconventional but contains several important messages for you, our patients. The stimulation of her ovaries during her first IVF attempt did not progress as we had hoped. There were fewer follicles and some were large and others small (follicle disparity). Had this been her final attempt on very high doses of medication, we might have proceeded on to egg retrieval. However, we felt the stimulation was suboptimal and we expected to improve this process in another cycle by changing the medication regimen. As Leslie and her husband were diagnosed with unexplained infertility, we also felt she might conceive by ovulating the few larger follicles which were present and using intrauterine insemination. Fortunately we were correct, and Leslie now has two wonderful children. These conversions from a planned IVF cycle to IUI cycle can produce pregnancies as often as 10% of the time as long as there are no other fertility factors like tubal damage or severe sperm problems and the age of the woman is not advanced (less than 38 years). Leslie’s story is a good example of persistence in spite of initial disappointment, of using all the options available in the most effective manner, and of “keeping the faith”. We hope Leslie’s story can be an inspiration to others who may face similar disappointments on their journey to parenthood.

Carl Herbert, MD

I had been trying to get pregnant for six months and didn’t want to wait any longer. In the past, my husband had gone through chemotherapy, but when we decided to begin our family, we never contemplated that his medical history would make conceiving a challenge.

Once we were ready to take the next step, our urologist recommended Pacific Fertility Center. Patients he referred to PFC had been successful, so we were very hopeful that they might be able to help us. We lived a distance from the center and had to make the 6-hour drive each way for treatments. We were determined to get the best care available.

Our cycle began way back in August of 2005. Initially we worked with Dr. Paul Turek, an urologist from UCSF in conjunction with PFC in cases like ours. He performed testicular mapping, looking for pockets of live sperm. Since only one pocket was found, Dr. Turek recommended my husband undergo FSH injections 3 months prior to our cycle, to increase sperm production. Fortunately, this experimental protocol worked better than expected and we were able to avoid invasive surgical removal of sperm. It only takes one good sperm to fertilize an egg and he was able to find more than enough.

In order to get my eggs to fertilize with my husband’s sperm, I went through IVF including FSH injections. The needles intimidated me, but I was able to get past that fear. Everything turned out OK and I made it through the procedure really well. During my retrieval they collected 20 eggs.

As it turns out, after fertilization with ICSI, we had 8 grade 1 and 2 embryos. Three of the embryos were transferred and the other five were frozen. To my pleasure, I became pregnant with a single baby girl. This was an amazing experience, especially considering the odds were not hugely in our favor. Once we got the good news, we were in an elated state of shock – we had been through a lot and finding out we were finally pregnant was wonderful news! I had an extremely easy and natural birth in May of the following year.

All in all the experience was quite a whirlwind; my husband and I had a lot of ups and downs. The assumption we had when we first decided to try to get pregnant was it would be natural and uncomplicated. However, learning we had an infertility problem was a devastating experience. What empowered my husband and me was that we started doing research about our problem. The more we learned, the more comfortable and less intimidated we felt. I would highly recommend this. In retrospect, the biggest ups and downs were when we got the reports on the good or the poor sperm samples. When they found sperm they could use, we could hardly contain our excitement.

I appreciate the care Dr. Isabelle Ryan provided. I liked her a lot and I have heard nothing but good things about all the PFC doctors. Dr. Ryan knows what she’s doing and was able to explain all the options available to us. Joe Conaghan, the lab director, was spectacular. He was able to find sperm in a sample that our local doctors could not. Being from a rural area, we didn’t have local access to PFC’s level of care and state-of-the-art technology. I absolutely trust PFC and have recommended them to others. If we decide to have another child, we will definitely come back. We love our little baby girl so much and every day is a new adventure. We can’t imagine our lives without her!

Susie & Steven D.

Our journey to parenthood is one we’ll never forget. Just a few years ago, we were both working professionals during the hey-day of the Silicon Valley. Fast-forward to today. Our work lives remain busy, albeit the settings have changed. We’ve said “so long” to the corporate life and “hello” to the entrepreneurial world and life as parents of four. We owe all the changes to parenthood, and frankly, we wouldn’t have it any other way.

We were married in 1992 and, at the time, were very much intensively focused on our dual career tracks so family building was simply not a big priority. Someday, if we were going to be parents, we wanted to have both adopted and biological children. We would have a nanny and a housekeeper to make sure things ran smoothly. However, we could see life without children very easily. However, in the late 1990s, we decided we wanted to be parents. We tried on and off for a couple of years, working around our work/travel schedules, but being fairly serious about the effort.

December of 2001 saw us going to India for a family wedding and as we were traveling a lot, we decided to look into adoption and visit several orphanages. At our first one, we had a very emotional time and left knowing that we wanted to be parents and that something would be missing for us if we did not follow that path. We came back and threw all the balls in the air, starting the adoption process and being “very serious” about trying to get pregnant.

The adoption route went much faster than we anticipated. Just two months after starting the process, we were able to get foster custody of Samir who was 10 weeks old at the time. Four months later, we adopted Samir (now 4.5) from Sisters of Charity, a Catholic orphanage near Bangalore, India. When we set out to be parents this time, we were not kidding around any more!

The biological route wasn’t as simple. We tried for several months but to no avail. Initially, we attributed this to stress. After all, with Samir we were embarking on parenthood for the first time. Sridhar started consulting. We also had to move out of our new home so the builder could address some major issues. We seriously tried to get pregnant for about 6 months and then decided to seek help.

We first learned about Pacific Fertility Center through a friend who referred us to Dr. Carl Herbert. We were impressed with his compassion and appreciated his candor. He didn’t pull any punches or provide false hope, which proved refreshing and uplifting. Dr. Herbert told us during our consultations that, regardless of the outcome of our infertility treatments, “we were going home to Samir” and that took a lot of the pressure off. Dr. Herbert was just one of many caring medical professionals that we dealt with along the way. We had glowing encounters with Dr. Chenette, also from the Pacific Fertility Center, as well as Dr. Laurie Green, Gina’s OBGYN at CPMC. They made us feel like individuals, not a number.

Our infertility treatment began with IUI cycles and Clomid which were unsuccessful. We did some basic testing but there were no explanations as to why we were not conceiving. Dr. Herbert suggested that we could try an IVF cycle, as it would address a number of factors, rather than do further testing. We decided to go for it and had success on the first try! Of the four embryos that were transferred, two implanted. Those two embryos resulted in our twins, Sanjeev and Serena, now 2.75 years old. One would think we were done, but we didn’t stop there. In Feb 2006 we adopted our fourth child, Sophia (1) from the same orphanage that we adopted Samir. We love them all equally and cherish every stage of their development.

It’s amazing how quickly things have changed for us. We went from two corporate professionals with our hands full with meetings, presentations, and reports to two parents with our hands full with diapers, toys, and baby clothes. Our vocabulary has changed as well. The corporate jargon now has to make room for occasional baby talk. (When speaking to our children, of course.)

The joys of having children cannot be understated. Whether it’s “soaping up” our kids in the bathtub or reading a bed time story, the little moments are precious. They seem to grow so fast, in every way that it is hard for us to keep up with the changes, so we try to enjoy the moments as they come.

This isn’t to suggest that life outside of parenthood is mundane. Work is as hectic as ever…but it is quite different. We no longer strive to climb the corporate ladder. I (Gina) stepped off it to stay at home and raise our children. I (Sridhar) did a complete 180 and am now the head of my own consulting practice. The beauty with this career move is the flexibility it affords in terms of raising the kids, which, as you can imagine, keeps us plenty busy.

– Gina and Sridhar

For my husband Matthew and me, hard work had always paid off. We had led successful professional careers, thanks to our diligence and work ethic. We approached having a child the same way but, to our dismay, we were unable to conceive for over two years. When it came to finding a fertility solution, I had been pretty resistant to assisted reproductive technology (ART). I’m a firm believer in natural approaches such as herbs and acupuncture and favored them as a pregnancy solution as opposed to medical intervention. Yet, we were running out of options. I was going to turn 40 years old. Time wasn’t on our side.

Overcoming infertility was an emotionally draining ordeal for my husband and me. Thankfully, we weren’t in it alone. Friends and family were very understanding of our plight. In fact, my brother and his wife were also trying to become parents. However, with some friends who had children, it was difficult to convey the physical and emotional challenges we were going through. After all, parents who hadn’t experienced delays in conceiving couldn’t relate to our journey. We were happy for our friends who had children but did wonder to ourselves, “Why weren’t we yet blessed with a child?”

Ultimately, my husband and I decided to pursue ART.  My OB/GYN encouraged me to contact Dr. Givens at Pacific Fertility Center (PFC). We were anxious, hopeful, and curious about the opportunities available to us at PFC. At the same time, we knew we were going to be in for an emotional roller coaster. Dr. Givens was fabulous. She was straightforward and medically professional in her approach. She was also compassionate about our endless array of questions and emotional highs and lows.

Although there was initial disappointment after two unsuccessful IUI attempts, it was short-lived. After just six short months, we moved on to IVF, and became pregnant on our first try. We were happy with this news but tempered our enthusiasm, as we weren’t sure if the baby would make it through the first trimester. Our happiness turned into pure elation after the amniocentesis, as we then knew for sure that our baby was healthy.

I can’t say enough about the caring and responsive team at PFC. From the administrative support staff, to the financial/accounting staff, to the training crew, to the nurses, to the doctors, everyone took great care in addressing our individual concerns. I also sought Dr. Givens’ attention in asking her to put me in touch with a patient who had successfully conceived through ART. I was in constant contact with this patient throughout my cycles and her insight was invaluable. She helped me understand the journey to pregnancy and gave me emotional support.

We are now huge advocates of ART – especially for couples who have tried for some time to get pregnant. Nevertheless, I do feel that the holistic approach of taking herbs and acupuncture was helpful in preparing my body for pregnancy. Our advice to those trying to conceive is to seek advice/treatment from PFC, work with the staff to learn what the medical reality is for you and/or your partner, and then move forward. I also think it would be helpful for couples to speak directly with other couples who have pursued infertility treatment, so that they know they are not alone.

The journey to pregnancy has made us realize that we must be collaborative and supportive of each other’s feelings. If I could give some additional advice to couples and individuals dealing with infertility, it would be to have open and honest communication with your partner, friends and family. This can be very cathartic.

Today, we feel that we are prepared to be the best parents ever. We want to create the most loving and supportive atmosphere possible for the child we are expecting, regardless of how difficult being a new parent might be. Certainly parenthood won’t be easy but the joy we’ll experience as parents will more than make up for it. The baby is due in mid-March, and, as you can imagine, we feel blessed and elated!

– Felicia (Names were changed at the author’s request.)

Postscript: Matthew and Felicia have a new member to their family. On March 6, 2006 Felicia gave birth to a happy, healthy Baby Maria. Congratulations!

I can remember the day I decided to make the phone call to PFC to inquire about becoming an Egg Donor. I was so excited at the idea of “making some money”. Though, it took me about a month to work up the courage to complete the application and return it with my pictures. I kept thinking who would want to receive my eggs? Maybe I was too short or too blonde? I was also worried about who would see my pictures/profile and if they would recognize me or know someone in my family. It was not until I heard a story about a couple who was having a hard time trying to conceive their first child. Their story broke my heart, because I had always assumed that getting pregnant and carrying a child to term was supposed to be easy. After their story, I knew that I needed to do something besides “making some money.” Instantly I spoke with my family and asked for their support and then returned my completed application.

It was only a few weeks later that I heard from a PFC Egg Donor Coordinator, Bridgett. I thought how lucky I am to be “chosen” by this couple! Bridgett was so professional and took care of all the details for my initial process. I soon realized what a bigger issue this was when I met the first recipient couple. They were just as anxious as I was about the experience, but when they told me their story something bonded between us and by the end of the meeting, I knew there was a greater reason for why I was donating my eggs. I saw how much it meant to them and I was surprised by how much it affected me. I walked out of the meeting knowing something wonderful was going to happen and I was lucky to be apart of that process with them.

Before the first recipients selected me, I thought that PFC worked only for the benefit of the parties wanting to get pregnant. It was only after my first cycle donation, that I realized how much I received from the experience. The experience changed how I looked on life and how precious the gift of life is. All I could think about was how I “flushed” away my eggs every month because I was not ready to start a family of my own and how precious those eggs are for some people. Words cannot describe how amazing it felt to help others, with something that seemed so small and was ‘flushed’ away.

In the beginning, I was full of mixed emotions. I was very excited to meet the PFC staff and start my first cycle. Yet, I was nervous about the process and how it would affect my day-to-day life. But every member of PFC was kind and professional, and put me immediately at a sense of ease. Since I was apprehensive about needles, I had decided I would administer all of the shots, except the HCG shot, to myself and found that it was an easy experience. The medications were gentle on my body and the side effects were very minimal. There were no outward indications that I was going through the process, the worst side effect was minor bloating towards the end of the cycle.

At every appointment, the entire staff was amazing and so supportive. I had decided to take my mother with me for support for the last appointment and retrieval, when we left the procedure she turned to me and said she was so proud at what I was doing and wished that she had done something similar. It was then that I felt I was making a difference in the world. The actual retrieval was so easy; I think the worst part of the process was having an IV inserted in my hand. The best part was the Retrieval Nursing Staff, Ann, Olga and Carol; they made me feel like I was so special. The way they treated me made me feel like I was a part of a unique club. I knew that I wanted to do more after that first cycle. With each cycle, the process seemed easier. The staff began to remember me and always made a point to remind me how appreciative they were for my donations.

It was just a few months ago that I finished my last cycle (6th), and I was full of mixed emotions when I left the final retrieval. On one hand I was excited that I could help another couple. But on the other, I was sad because it would be the last time I donated and the last time I would see the staff at PFC. Throughout all six of my cycles, I had the privilege to get to know the staff and Doctors at PFC. I would recommend PFC to anyone in need of their services or wanting to become an egg donor. The staff is the most remarkable group of individuals. Their professionalism exceeds what you would expect to receive. They change lives and make dreams come true for everyone involved!

Donating your eggs requires you and your family to be selfless and unconditionally giving of yourself. You must not connect with the idea of a child in the world with your features, rather you must see it as a gift you have given a deserving couple. To be an egg donor was an honor that I will always hold in my heart. The feeling you get from helping others is more of a reward than you will ever realize.

– Donor remains anonymous

So often I hear or read about what a mistake it is to postpone having children. As if for all of us this is a conscious choice. I wasn’t waiting until the perfect career moment, or until I achieved some lofty goal. I was waiting for a committed mate with whom to start a family. So at 39, my husband and I began what would become, in total, a six-year infertility odyssey.

I was not naïve going into this. I was, in fact, planning for a difficult time. I expected to chart my cycles, which would of course be unsuccessful, for six months, and, armed with all this useful data, insist on a referral to a fertility specialist. Imagine our surprise when I became pregnant on our first try. The pregnancy ended at around 10 weeks, when we went for our first ultrasound and was told there was no heartbeat. In a testament to denial and hope, and despite my initial pessimism and the dismal statistics for my age group, I never truly believed I would miscarry.

My emotional recovery from my first loss was complicated by a difficult physical recovery. Nonetheless, a few months later I was pregnant again, only to miscarry at six weeks. I was distressed and angry, resentful of every pregnant belly I’d pass on the street, feeling sabotaged by my own body. The wait just to get an appointment with the fertility specialist within my health plan was six months, so we anxiously turned to PFC, knowing that every cycle was a precious commodity.

We launched in with Dr. Ryan, taking every reasonable test, only to find that things looked pretty good and this was simply going to be luck of the draw. After several trying months of unexpected delays and barriers, we upped our odds with injectables and conceived our amazing daughter, Hannah. I remember that my first thought, after the nine days of shots, the trips to the City for ultrasounds, the anxious OPK readings, and the agonizing two-week wait, was that it had been ridiculously easy. That was five years ago. We have a son on the way now. I can feel him squirming around in there, poking at my bladder as I write this. We suffered many losses and deep disappointments to get to this point, and I have three sharps containers full of needles to prove it.

I can’t imagine what it must be like for women who breeze through conception and pregnancy, but I know I have benefited from the difficulty of my experience. I have gained a profound sense of wonderment about the entire miracle of pregnancy. I have an appreciation for the life I’ve brought into this world, and the one on its way, that I could never have found with any other path. I have developed a depth of sensitivity for those struggling to do what comes so easily to others that has enabled me to support them in a way I could never otherwise have done.

Maybe this isn’t the course I would have chosen, given the option, and there are some wounds that never heal, but after six long years, we are finally at a point where we can breathe. We can put the exhausting cycle of hope and grief behind us. Like us, anyone who has come out the other side of infertility gains a sense of their strength, endurance and resolve. And anyone who has found their way through infertility, whatever their path, knows the almost overwhelming sense of relief we feel down to our bones, every single day.

– Lauren

I was a culinary student looking on the Internet for a part time job to help pay for tuition when I stumbled on the possibility of donating my eggs. I liked the idea of being able to help someone else while helping myself. The center was conveniently located and I could still work during the process. It seemed like a win-win situation.

It took me a while to think it through. I came to realize that there were a lot of people who needed this kind of help. After a while, I talked it through with some of my friends and discussed it with my mother. She was very supportive and helped me fill in the family medical history part of the application.

My first experience with Pacific Fertility Center was positive. I was struck by how welcoming they were. I was very curious to discover more about the whole process and they were happy to answer all my questions and to be sure I understood what I was agreeing to do.

Once I was selected as a donor, I learned how to give myself shots. It wasn’t as difficult as I thought it might be. (That part never really bothered me.) The doctors and the nurses were always ready to answer questions as they came up. After donating a few times, I think I met every one of them.

The actual cycles were easy for me except for occasional periods of grumpiness. I was able to maintain my work/class schedule. They really tried to work around my schedule and make it as easy as possible for me. I loved how friendly everyone was. I became friends with the nurses. We were on a first name basis. They were always asking me about my work and if I ran into them outside of work, we would stop and talk.

The best part of being a donor was receiving the thank you notes and flowers. You realize how important your contribution is for people who can’t get pregnant using their own eggs. It felt great to discover that 5 out of 6 got pregnant with my eggs. I really feel like I was able to make a difference in someone’s life. I would definitely recommend becoming an egg donor to others.

After donating the maximum number of cycles, I have now “graduated” from Pacific Fertility Center’s Egg Donor Agency. I miss the friends I made at the center, but am happy to report I am pregnant and starting a family of my own.

– Donor remains anonymous

One of the first things that my partner Cindy and I discussed when we started to date was a strong desire to have children. As we talked about building a life together, we clearly imagined ourselves as parents, much to the relief of our families who were eager for grandchildren. We even started talking with Dr. Ryan about starting a family at the same time that we started planning our wedding. We had selected an anonymous sperm donor that we hoped to use for each of us, so that our children would be partially related to each other. We were very excited. We decided Cindy would begin first, as she was older, so the month after we returned from our honeymoon, we started trying.

Cindy was started on Clomid, which, although it worked relatively well, also had the unfortunate side effect of making her feel completely crazy at times. After a few months on Clomid, we decided that trying to balance pregnancy efforts with two demanding and stressful jobs with a lot of travel was enough to make anyone crazy, and we didn’t actually need the additional variable of Clomid. We moved on to injectables (gonadotropin), which although not perfect, ended up being a great deal easier on both of us. Once again, although everything looked like it was working relatively well, no pregnancy. At this point, we had been trying for almost a year with absolutely no success, and we were trying very hard not to act as frustrated and upset as we felt. It was a tough year — our friends and family were very supportive, but the monthly calls to our parents and close friends letting them know we still weren’t pregnant were getting harder and harder and the financial and emotional toll was starting to weigh on us. We decided to move on to IVF and that if IVF didn’t work I would start trying.

In the egg retrieval for IVF, we ended up with ten viable embryos of varying degrees of quality, and in consultation with Dr. Ryan we decided to be as aggressive as possible, and put all of the embryos back. Two weeks later, we learned what we had suspected, which was that none of the embryos had implanted. We took a few months off – spent several months remembering what it was like not to split your month into binary segments, not to have hypodermic needles in your kitchen cupboard and to drive down the Embarcadero without worrying we were late to an appointment.

When we felt ready, we went back to PFC. It was my turn. Everyone welcomed us back with sympathetic hugs and although we were ready to start trying again, it was a somewhat different experience – our excitement was tempered by our awareness that pregnancy simply doesn’t happen for everyone. I started out on Clomid for six months with great results – except no pregnancy. At that point, we both decided we didn’t have it in us to continue the same trajectory for the next few months with injectables. We decided to go right to IVF, which had the highest chance of success for us. We also started seriously discussing adoption, which was comforting to us as we were able to tell ourselves that we would be parents in the next year, one way or another, and that really helped.

We ran into out-of-town friends in the IVF waiting room (we knew they had been trying, but hadn’t discussed where and how in depth with them, so we had no idea they were also doing IVF at PFC) and we both agreed to hope the coincidence was a lucky sign. Three days later, we put back three embryos and froze five. After two nerve-wracking weeks in which I fluctuated between wondering if I could be pregnant and worrying it was all jet lag, we found out on January 14, 2005, that we were pregnant! It was suggested to us that since my HCG numbers tripled very quickly, we might want to think about the possibility of twins, and our five week ultrasound revealed two sacs. Those two sacs have developed into a boy and a girl, who are due this October 6, and look, thus far, completely healthy. (Even better, our friends also succeeded on their try, and their baby is also due on October 6.)

We are thrilled beyond all measure, and these babies are so loved and wanted by so many people that it is ridiculous. We have taken every possible step to ensure that Cindy is also legally recognized as their parent so our family is as legally and emotionally solid as it can possibly be. We will always wish that Cindy could have gotten pregnant and we don’t think that sense of loss will ever go away completely. On the other hand, as this experience has reminded us, you don’t always get to live the life narrative you had hoped to write and these are the children that we are blessed with. We could not have had our family without PFC and especially not without Dr. Ryan’s support and encouragement. We look very much forward to meeting our children when they arrive.

– Heidi (Names have been changed at the author’s request)

Post Script: Heidi and Cindy recently welcomed a healthy boy and girl into their family!

Patrick and I began a cycle of IVF in July of 2003 and by that September we were pregnant with twins. Our entire experience, from the time that we first met with Dr. Schriock to the actual confirmation of our pregnancy was positive. Everything was explained to us from the percentages of success to the risks associated with IVF in the initial consultation and follow-up meetings. We both went into it optimistically and decided to deal with any issues as they came up, and tried not to worry about the maybes.

Because both Patrick and I were fine with the possibility of having twins, the decision to implant more than one embryo in order to increase our chances was never an issue. Dr. Schriock was comfortable with me carrying twins, but in the small chance that more embryos did in fact attach, he strongly recommended reducing. The day of the transfer, we were told that we had seven viable fertilized eggs and the recommendation was to transfer up to three of them. I actually wanted to transfer four in the hopes of having an even greater chance of conceiving, but was overruled not only by the doctor but my husband who was terrified that all four may actually attach. A few weeks later, after having my blood drawn, my numbers were so high that I was sure I was carrying triplets. It was such a relief to finally have an ultra-sound and see two tiny heartbeats. We were both so happy to have finally been able to conceive and I was especially thankful to have avoided a decision on what to do if I was carrying three babies. My biggest concern throughout my pregnancy was to carry two babies to full term. There seemed to be a lot of “negative material” out there to be read. The biggest cause of concern seemed to be of multiples being born prematurely. After reading a lot of baby books, I finally found one that became the positive influence I was searching for: When You’re Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads. It shows that having multiples does not necessarily mean that you will have a difficult pregnancy or that your babies are destined to be born weighing only a few pounds. Rather it encourages you to think beyond the 35-37 week time frame that most twins are usually born and to try for the full 40 weeks if possible. One thing that I really liked about the book is that it encourages you to eat. The suggestions to eat double cheeseburgers and milk shakes definitely made my pregnancy a little more fun. I exercised 6 days a week just like I did pre-pregnancy but instead of running I used pregnancy exercise videos. I continued to exercise up until my 37th week, three weeks before I delivered. Ashley Jordan and Janelle Patrice were born on May 6, 2004, forty minutes past Cinco De Mayo. We went 40 weeks and one day before having to be induced. Because I wanted to have them vaginally and hadn’t experienced any complications, my doctor allowed me to carry them past the normal 37 weeks. In the end though, they were delivered by cesarean. Life with twins is wonderful. They actual help with entertaining each other and it is fascinating to watch them develop skills at different rates. They did start to crawl one day apart just after turning 6 months, but Janelle can already walk with a walker while Ashley has just learned how to pull herself up. For me, I sometimes wish I could have a little more one-on-one with each but I don’t think they notice. We all play together and they are used to being a twosome. There is nothing like watching them laugh hysterically with each other when playing and they seem to already have their own secret language. We are glad that at 36 years of age, we have two beautiful, healthy babies and they have each other to play and grow up with. We still have three frozen embryos and are considering trying to do it again down the road. I encourage everyone I know that is having difficulty in getting pregnant to go to PFC before any other clinic. There is no way we can thank Dr. Schriock and his team enough for giving us our beautiful girls.

– Jana

Twin pregnancies are common in women undergoing IVF and we congratulate Jana on her very successful experience as a mother of twins. Most twin pregnancies have good outcomes, however, the chance of having a healthy baby is much higher in singleton pregnancies. At Pacific Fertility Center, a singleton pregnancy is our preferred outcome. Prior to transfer, the risks and benefits of transferring one or more embryos are discussed. The patients’ final decision is made in partnership with the physician. Multiple pregnancy is risky for both the mother and infant. Premature birth occurs in over 50% of twin pregnancies. A twin is seven times more likely to die in the first month of life. Preeclampsia occurs three to five times more frequently. Prolonged bed rest and hospitalization for preterm labor is common and cesarean section is often needed for delivery. Patients may wish to refer to Patient’s Fact Sheets from the American Society of Reproductive Medicine: “Complications of Multiple Gestation” and “Challenges of Parenting Multiples”. It is very important for patients to realize that excellent pregnancy rates can be maintained while controlling the rate of multiple pregnancy. More than one study has shown that transferring one embryo at a time can be as effective and more economical than transferring two embryos. Embryo freezing is now very successful. As preimplantation genetic diagnosis improves, it may also be helpful in selecting which single embryo to transfer. With improvements in the laboratory such as embryo isolettes, refinement of medications, improved freezing techniques, and preimplantation genetic diagnosis, we are closer to our goal of all singleton births.

– Eldon Schriock, MD